Homecoming: Hope Estheim of FFXIII

From April to the end of December 2016, have courage to start and share your in-progress works! Release your shrines unfinished, and use community enthusiasm and feedback as fuel to keep working on them.
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Robin
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Fri Dec 09, 2016 10:09 pm

Ooo lovely, DEEP analysis! Your writing flows over me like ocean waves and brings with it a tide of knowledge. <3
~ a dream is a wish your heart makes ~
withinmyworld.org

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Lethe
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Sat Dec 10, 2016 9:12 am

I sat down and reread everything you've got so far since it's been a while! (Also because I noticed I had never commented on the content before wtf? How.)

I really, really love how your writing beautifully complements your content! This here in particular stood out to me due to the beautiful phrasing:
Upon exiting Lake Bresha, the party splits due to their differences in stamina. Hope pushes himself to follow Lightning, a sergeant of the Guardian Corps, whose purposeful strides attract his aimless feet.
(And also because it cracked me up since the first sentence is such a nice way to say "Lightning dumped everyone and left" omg.)

And then again on the body language page (emphasis by me):
The conflict of being a l'Cie grooms Hope to stand his ground as he regains his personal hope, enabling him to stagger but stay standing with a strong face after he's sorted out his grief and despair.
So beautiful. ;_;

I really love your observations on the "Body language" page (one of the pages I looked forward to the most), and "Eidolon" may be my favourite page on the shrine so far because it combines Hope's role in the group (story), Hope's role in the party (gameplay) as well as analysis gained from looking at another installment in the series (FFIX). I think that page in particular shows that you have many different things to say, without necessarily having to write all that much!

Not everyone has to write a lot in order to convey something! I think we all have our own voice and ways to communicate, so don't worry too much about how much you write compared to others, as long as you feel that what you have is effective. <3

By the way, on the "Revenge" page, there's a tiny period missing after "her survival". :>
Both despair and ecstasy are part of the elements that compose a person.

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Eunice
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Mon Dec 12, 2016 5:58 am

It looks amazing. That's a good idea to have your planned contents listed. The layout really is lovely.

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Jae
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Sun Dec 18, 2016 10:40 pm

I told myself yesterday, "Respond to the comments before you do anything." We all know how that went. :sad:

Anyway, it's almost the end of December and I didn't want to drag, so tone is up! It's a very opinionated page, and explains my frequent habit of comparing scripts for beloved canons. I love the beauty of language so.

I intend to leave "closing" blank until I do more with the project as a whole. For all intents and purposes, I'm "tentatively finished" with the XIII part of the site, which means . . . I think I'm done for the year! Hurray.

I'm not used to working in increments on a site, so this still feels like a rough draft of one to me. I want to come back after another review of the series in the future, and tweak a lot of stuff. This is mostly because I nuked my LR save file and have no motivation to jumpstart the game again, which changes how I envision the project. Mistakes were made. I'm crushed!!

Anyway, that's all for later and this is now. Thank you for dropping by with every sporadic update, everyone! I'm not sure if I'll do some minor tweaking before the end of 2016, but if I do, I'll of course be posting about it here.

Now for replies! Finally, Jae.

@Robin: No tide is more soothing than that which is borne by your kind words.

@Lethe: (I was Very Nice to Lightning, oh, yes.) I knew I'd forgotten something! Thanks for pointing out that runaway period. That said, I edited the revenge page, because it was a hideous mess that was making me cry bloody tears inside. I like to think it's tidier now!

I'm glad you enjoyed the body language bit. I paid a lot of attention to Hope's actions in my latest run of the game last year, and was surprised at how much there was to parse. His feet pointing outward that time with Snow in Palumpolum was especially meaningful to me, even though it didn't make it onto the page.

Thank you so much for your encouragement and input, Lethe. :heart:

@Eunice: Thanks! I have a weird love-hate relationship with the layout, but it's grown on me and I surprised myself with how the smallest edits can improve a design. Little steps!
fayth
I come and go, but I'm around.

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Robin
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Sat Dec 31, 2016 3:03 pm

Hey there! I'm getting together all the buttons for Construction Zone sites, and wondered if you have a 200 x 40 button I can use to link to your site? :)
~ a dream is a wish your heart makes ~
withinmyworld.org

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Jae
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Sat Dec 31, 2016 11:24 pm

Sure do, Robin!
fayth
I come and go, but I'm around.

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Lethe
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Sun Jan 01, 2017 7:13 pm

Congratulations on pretty much finishing this, Jae, even if it's considered a draft!

I like your Tone page and how you picked out two specific instances to comment on (I assume you have strong feelings on those haha). I like it even more that the page closes with a reconciliation of the two versions, since people - especially those who don't understand much about translation - tend to... jump the gun when getting upset at isolated differences in translations (when a lot of the time, it's also a difference in culture and language), rather than look at the overall presentation of a character.
Hope is still Hope, and yet I get to see the same scenes from a new angle, so everybody wins.
The joy of translation comparison. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
This is mostly because I nuked my LR save file and have no motivation to jumpstart the game again, which changes how I envision the project.
............ ;______________________________; /hugs
Both despair and ecstasy are part of the elements that compose a person.

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